What kinds of memories or meanings do you see in the objects passed down to you?

Abha: When my grandmother's mother passed away, her handwritten diaries were kept by her eldest daughter—my mom's sister. My mom was the youngest of four. When my aunt was leaving Bombay, she didn’t want to carry all these to Jaipur and said, "Abha, you keep them. They're very important. Guard the family heritage." Initially I thought I’d just read and dispose of them. But over time, I realized how brilliant they are to have and to share with Ahilya. Now that Ahilya is running a home herself, I think it’s especially interesting for her to see what my grandmother wrote daily. People think journaling is modern, but she did it beautifully — ordinary things, written in such a way that they’re funny, entertaining, and vivid.

 
Ahilya wears the draped funnel neck chambray mini dress in denim blue paired with the deconstructed exposed seam trousers in denim blue and Abha wears the floral brocade column back cape dress in pear.

Are there any traditions or values she wrote about that you've tried to keep going?

Abha: I think the biggest one is keeping a really nice home — making it warm and welcoming, a place that feels rooted in something. It gives people comfort, rhythm.

Ahilya: That’s what I learned from you — that rhythm and warmth. When people come over, just making them feel welcome, having a nice structure, celebrating the small things. Even if it’s just a Sunday evening, making it feel a little special. My husband always says he notices that about me, and I say it’s a trait I've inherited because of my mom.

Abha: It’s something we pass down — as mothers, grandmothers — the ability to make our homes places of peace, joy, comfort. It spreads to everyone who walks in. Every day has something worth celebrating.

 
Abha’s grandmother’s diary — a daily record of life’s small moments, written with warmth, wit, and remarkable detail.

What do these heirlooms tell you about your great-grandmother?

Ahilya: I’ve never met her — or even my grandmother — so it’s fascinating to hear about them. I love how meticulous she was, how she recorded everything. I think I’m like that too. I notice small things, I enjoy small routines — like going for a walk or having a coffee — and seeing that she also found joy in those simple parts of her day makes me feel close to her. There’s always something with food, or nature, or poetry. That kind of balance — between movement and stillness — I really connect with.

Abha: Yes, and their habits live on in us, even if we didn’t know them. And then we build our own new ones.

 
A watercolour by Abha’s mother from the 1950s — soft, minimal strokes capturing entire scenes with quiet clarity.

Is there anything you hope Ahilya holds on to and keeps passing it on? 

Abha: For me, it’s about staying connected to where we come from. Especially living away from our country. I lost my mom when I was 25 and she was only 52. I was also close to my grandma. We were lucky to have close bonds with our elders. They weren’t just old people in the house — they had opinions, strong personalities. My grandmother, for instance, didn’t go to school, but they brought an English governess to the house. She read a lot, subscribed to Hindi literary magazines. 

Ahilya, is there a memory of your mom that stays with you?

Ahilya: There are so many. But I think the comforting ones — like her picking me up late at night from SAT prep, making tea or snacks. Helping me study when I was exhausted. We have this memory of my “US History face” — I’d be falling asleep and she’d be reading to me. Or when we’d just go do errands — to the tailor or to Little India — and laugh and joke. Those are my favourite times.

What are some of the values or lessons that have been passed down in your family?

Ahilya: And it’s relaxing for me. I have a very structured day, but when I take time to do those things with you, it’s restful. And I always learn something new.

Abha: I remember when I dropped you at your first preschool in Bombay, after we moved back from New York. You just smiled and walked right in — no turning back. That’s how I always wanted you to be.

Ahilya: I think I’ve always loved new places and people.

What's something you've learned from each other? 

Ahilya: I think just to do a good job, and take care of people — your relationships, your family, your marriage. My parents have a beautiful marriage, and I admire how they treat each other with love and respect. I want to be like that. I’m also close to my brothers — just like my mom is with hers. I hope to be as good a cook as her too! And she always encourages me to stay curious, to keep learning.

Abha: From Ahilya, I’ve learned how she puts her full heart into everything. I wouldn’t say perfectionist, but she gives things time — whether it’s school projects, dance, or singing. She’ll try and try. I remember when she wanted to join the swim team — she trained so hard, got sunburned and rashes, but kept going. She’s always had that spirit. I’m very proud of her.

what's something you will always carry?

Ahilya: Her warmth. How she connects with people. She’s this amazing host, she makes everyone feel included. I hope to be like that. And when I feel low or tired, I just think — what would Mom do? Be bigger than the moment.

Abha: What I’ll always keep of Ahilya is how game she is. She’s willing to try anything. She’s so talented — singer, dancer, writer, teacher. We’re different, but our attitude is the same. And I think that comes from all the strong women I grew up with — my two grandmothers, my mother — all very different. One loved books and art, the other was a real party person who loved to dress up. Somehow Ahilya and I carry a mix of all of that.

Ahilya: Maybe we do the same things in different ways.

Abha: Yes. And I’ve never had a sister, just brothers. So Ahilya has been that for me — someone to share girly things with, but who’s also strong and adventurous. Only with her can I do the makeup, tea, shopping part — and also the hiking and driving part. I hope all mothers have a daughter they can enjoy life with that way.

Watch the second episode of Past, Present, Mom with Shing and Mila — now live on our Instagram.